Lots of facial problems at MSNBC this morning. Joe Scarborough, back from a possible skiing holiday vacay, turned up on TV bright orange and burnt this morning, sitting next to an increasingly plump-faced Mika Brzezinski and a jolly David Shuster with weird make-up smudges on his rapidly expanding cheeks and double-chin. New year’s make-overs, MSNBC? Please?

Tim Russert, adding his oversized ego to the fat-faced lineup, said on Morning Joe that he’s faced plenty of “80-year-old cougars” trying to chase him down while on the trail in Iowa. A cougar, you’ll recall, is an older lady who’s hot to trot. Go, Timmy.

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“Arizona senator John McCain’s mother was forced to retract a statement she made Friday about Mitt Romney, a rival for her son’s presidential aspirations,” Radar reports. “Appearing on MSNBC, Mom McCain blamed ‘the Mormons’ for the scandals surrounding the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City.”

Now, the only question remains: Is Mother McCain crazier than daughter Meghan is sexy?

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Ben Widdicombe, apparently NYC’s “hottest young gossip columnist,” actually liveblogged Hillary Clinton’s 60th birthday bash last night. The highlight of the evening was Elvis Costello, singing “Happy birthday, Mrs. President,” so that pretty much sums up the mom-ish ambiance of the event. But, boy, did Ben try to make it work. To wit:

9:18 p.m.

Bill Clinton and daughter Chelsea took the stage, backed by three large portraits of Hillary. One was a baby picture, one a college year book photo and the third, a contemporary study, looked like an emperor posing for a Roman coin. Bill observed that he and Hillary had just celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary. “We love you, and I’m so proud of you,” he said, bringing his wife to the stage. Hillary played the Empire State card, thanking New York and New Yorkers to loud applause. Earlier, Billy Crystal had parried an audience member who’d yelled a request for the baseball scores (then cheered the Red Sox.) “I appreciate everything [Crystal] said about the Yankees, because I am and I have been a Yankees fan!” Hillary said. “No changes, no pandering to anyone else!” Take that, Rudy!

Let’s hear it for old people! Oh, and Ben, we hear that Larry King will be celebrating a b-day soon. Can’t wait to see what you do with that!

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…at a kids’ charity event in DC last week. Since when does she have a wrinkled chin?

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Could it be because the grand dame of the program Barbara Walters used to date the wily former fed chairman? Yes, our sources say, and Mitchell apparently doesn’t allow her hubby to be alone in the same room with Walters anymore. It made for quite awkward TV, with the elder Greenspan sitting between the two taut news ladies — not knowing which one to look at when he was talking. Mitchell, in fact, ended up chatting more than Greenspan, at one point saying that she likes to stay in bed with him as long as possible. Um, that’s hot? 

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