Lots of facial problems at MSNBC this morning. Joe Scarborough, back from a possible skiing holiday vacay, turned up on TV bright orange and burnt this morning, sitting next to an increasingly plump-faced Mika Brzezinski and a jolly David Shuster with weird make-up smudges on his rapidly expanding cheeks and double-chin. New year’s make-overs, MSNBC? Please?

Tim Russert, adding his oversized ego to the fat-faced lineup, said on Morning Joe that he’s faced plenty of “80-year-old cougars” trying to chase him down while on the trail in Iowa. A cougar, you’ll recall, is an older lady who’s hot to trot. Go, Timmy.

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“Arizona senator John McCain’s mother was forced to retract a statement she made Friday about Mitt Romney, a rival for her son’s presidential aspirations,” Radar reports. “Appearing on MSNBC, Mom McCain blamed ‘the Mormons’ for the scandals surrounding the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City.”

Now, the only question remains: Is Mother McCain crazier than daughter Meghan is sexy?

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Ben Widdicombe, apparently NYC’s “hottest young gossip columnist,” actually liveblogged Hillary Clinton’s 60th birthday bash last night. The highlight of the evening was Elvis Costello, singing “Happy birthday, Mrs. President,” so that pretty much sums up the mom-ish ambiance of the event. But, boy, did Ben try to make it work. To wit:

9:18 p.m.

Bill Clinton and daughter Chelsea took the stage, backed by three large portraits of Hillary. One was a baby picture, one a college year book photo and the third, a contemporary study, looked like an emperor posing for a Roman coin. Bill observed that he and Hillary had just celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary. “We love you, and I’m so proud of you,” he said, bringing his wife to the stage. Hillary played the Empire State card, thanking New York and New Yorkers to loud applause. Earlier, Billy Crystal had parried an audience member who’d yelled a request for the baseball scores (then cheered the Red Sox.) “I appreciate everything [Crystal] said about the Yankees, because I am and I have been a Yankees fan!” Hillary said. “No changes, no pandering to anyone else!” Take that, Rudy!

Let’s hear it for old people! Oh, and Ben, we hear that Larry King will be celebrating a b-day soon. Can’t wait to see what you do with that!

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…at a kids’ charity event in DC last week. Since when does she have a wrinkled chin?

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Could it be because the grand dame of the program Barbara Walters used to date the wily former fed chairman? Yes, our sources say, and Mitchell apparently doesn’t allow her hubby to be alone in the same room with Walters anymore. It made for quite awkward TV, with the elder Greenspan sitting between the two taut news ladies — not knowing which one to look at when he was talking. Mitchell, in fact, ended up chatting more than Greenspan, at one point saying that she likes to stay in bed with him as long as possible. Um, that’s hot? 

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Cindy Adams, the aging New York Post gossip doyenne, got a few facts wrong in her recent write-up of Harold Ford, Jr.’s engagement to fashionista Emily Threlkeld:

GENTS in love brings me to New York businessman Harold Ford, former congressman from Tennessee who is also a maybe senator from Tennessee. He is also, as of Friday, the fiancé of fashionista Emily Threlkeld. After their three-year relationship, bachelor Harold was to surprise her in Paris and propose and phone me right afterward at 3 p.m. New York time. He called 7:30.

“She was an hour late for dinner because she’s at the collections working for Carolina Herrera,” he told me. “I had champagne and a whole party waiting at the Bar Vendome at the Ritz. When she finally arrived she said she had to go back to the hotel for her charger because her phone was dying.”

The future groom gave her his BlackBerry. Also an engagement ring. The future bride is now about to give him a springtime wedding date. And a blessing on their heads, mazel tov, mazel tov.

First, Adams says Ford is “also maybe senator from Tennessee.” WTF? No, he’s not a senator from Tennessee. He lost. No doubt about that, Cindy. Read more…

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Boy, can the Politico’s Andy Glass ramble on. If you’ve ever met the 73-year-old journalist in person, he’s apt to tell about how he loves new media technology. How he’s embraced it for years. How he started surfin’ the Net soon after Al Gore invented it. (He’ll laugh at that point, thinking he’s just made a wonderful joke.)

And then, like when grandma starts talking, your eyes will glaze over and your ears will plug up. But later, when you get bored, you might decide to check out whether the old man even has a Web site. And, what do ya know, he does. And it’s called “The Home Page of Andrew J. Glass.” And it looks like it was made in 1996. And his useful links include weather forecasts. And he’s using a Google search logo from when dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

And, for some reason, these things make you feel a warm spot in your heart for ole Andy Glass.

Still, you’re probably not too surprised that the glitzy know-it-all young Politico executive editor Jim VandeHei pretty much never gives ole Andy anything to do. He can’t fire Glass, of course, because a person even more important than VandeHei in the Politico hierarchy, named Marty Tolchin, wouldn’t dare let him. At least not until Tolchin’s ready to retire himself.

But VandeHei can laugh at Andy behind his back, mocking his age, and probably breaking every age discrimination law ever on record. Read more…

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Does NBC foreign affairs correspondent Andrea Mitchell have to mash up her hubby’s food and feed it to him, too? We all know ex-Federal Reserve chairman and current retiree Alan Greenspan is pretty damn old, but he doesn’t have to tell us about it! According to a new Business Week article, he drives like a little old lady and wrote the bulk of his upcoming book, The Age of Turbulence: Adventures in a New World, while “in the bathtub.” We presume he didn’t want to risk standing for fear of slipping and breaking a hip.

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Happy birthday to our apparent arch nemesis Nick Denton. Why not blow out the waxy, burnt down candles on Wonkette’s cake while you’re celebrating, Nick? And then kiss the boys!

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Wilmer Valderrama and co-star Bobby Cannavale

Mockette here, guys. My favorite NYC gossip, Perez Hilton, justifiably rags on Wilmer Valderrama for making ridiculous hand gestures in every picture. Now that he’s made a “serious star turn” in Fast Food Nation, which premiered in Georgetown on Friday, the boy has simply got to learn how to act in public. I haven’t seen the flick yet, but if it’s anything like That 70’s Show, I’m sure to hate it. Thankfully, I’m told it’s nothing like That 70’s Show. I did catch up with Valderrama at Play later that night just before Lionel Richie stopped by. He’s shorter than I expected, and his gesture problem was temporarily cured because a drink was always in hand.

P.S. Richie is just plain old. I don’t care how much concealer he wears.

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