Ha, day two.

Related: Special Blogger Snafu: Huge Egg on Wonkette’s Face

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So of course I watched the Miss America pageant last night. I’ve watched it every year since I was 6 and wanted to enter pageants myself, but mama wouldn’t let me (thanks, Mom). While that bitch from Oklahoma was pretty and all, I was rooting for my pal, Washington’s own Miss Kate Michael (alas, she didn’t make it to the second round).

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I had to suffer through Hammy Hardball’s “wit,” since he was in Las Vegas to be a judge. To me, his jokes really just amounted to a bunch of sexist insults. “I think girls are getting better looking,” he said to host Mario Lopez at one point. “Girls definitely didn’t look like that in the 1920’s.” WTF? Was he alive in the 1920’s?

When he pointed out that “guys like swimsuits on girls,” I nearly hurled, not because he stated the obvious, but because of the creepy way he said it. I know Big Head Rob probably likes him, but he makes my skin crawl. And I don’t know how Kathleen Mathews could have married that diabetic oaf.

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Occidental College remembers Barry Obama with a moderate Afro and a penchant for pizza.

National icon Barbaro now glue. Dontcha wish we’d turned Marilyn Monroe into glue? We could sniff her. 

The Clinton camp thinks the Mitt Romney camp smells like glue.

Surprise! Ethics rules approved by Congress to curb lobbyists’ influence are unethical.

Douchier name: Ari Fleischer or Scooter Libby? That’ll be up to the jury to decide.

Where the fuck was Bush’s -ic? The Washington Post goes in depth on this dirty little tale of deception.

Massachusetts loves Nancy Pelosi’s tight little -ic.

Good to see some manners return to the Miss America pageant this year – Miss Congeniality is back after a decades long absence. That bitch roolz. 

White House craves power over science and society. (Yeah right.)

Since the minimum wage may increase, Congress definitely deserves a raise, according to Congress members.

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