Author Marty Beckerman, a longtime Big Head DC celebrity, would rather be circumcised than have his “cock look like a Gnarly Mutant Corndog.” But is that an accurate description of a cut penis? Next month the Oregon Supreme Court will decide on that very issue. Well, more precisely, whether a Jewish convert can circumcise his 12-year-old child against the child’s will. “[A]ny decision to single out circumcision as a basis for questioning the fitness of the custodial parent would violate the First Amendment’s guarantee of freedom of religion,” claim some pro-circumcision Jews. And a representative for the American Jewish Congress has said, “We have to win this case, and win it big…”. Apparently, there’s a lot riding on the tip of this kid’s penis.

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Our sex writer pal just appeared on MSNBC chatting about “South Park conservatives,” noting the apparent widespread libertarian-consciousness of Generation Y. Marty also told viewers that lots of twentysomethings like Barack Obama – which sort of confused us re: the whole libertarian thing, since Obama’s a pretty liberal dude, on social and fiscal issues. Then Marty flirted with a news anchor and got her to admit she reads Playboy!

Related: When An Author Loses His Edge, Make Lemonade

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We made fun of Marty Beckerman…and all we got was this lousy blog post in return:

Big Head Rob finds humor in the fact that my friends pissed off a huge number of my business contacts. At least I learned my lesson: always the BCC, never the CC.

Well, Marty, at least we didn’t tell everyone about that time your wide stance happened to “accidentally” make your shoe touch our shoe under the bathroom stall at The Front Page. Perv!

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Last week Marty Beckerman, author of Generation SLUT, penned a column for the Huffington Post explaining why he thinks Star Trek’s Capt. Jean-Luc Picard would make a far better president than Dubya.

It was supposed to be funny. But what was even funnier happened after Beckerman proudly sent an e-mail out to his pals and colleagues pointing to the piece. Instead of including his contact list in the TO: box, he just CC’d everyone he knew, explaining that when he BCC’s people using his Yahoo e-mail address, his messages tend to go directly to spam.

And then debauchery of the sort one might see at a Star Trek convention began. Read more…

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Remember back when we used to go on and on about former DC author Marty Beckerman, and his Generation SLUT book?

And remember when we told you about the Washington Times Robert Stacy McCain blowing a gasket in his newsroom last week?

Well! Little did you know that we would one day connect the antics of Beckerman with the semantics of McCain. Turns out that McCain is a big, big Beckerman fan, and even gave Generation SLUT a glowing review on Amazon:

Beckerman is completely insane — and that’s a good thing. What he has done is to throw back the curtain to show us the horrible moral decay that has afflicted the children of the Woodstock Generation. The graphic language and sexual content may shock adults, but this is how young people talk and what young people do. Just when you think to yourself, “That’s too far-fetched to ever happen,” you turn on the TV or pick up a paper and see that it already HAS happened: Teenagers posting self-porn on the ‘Net, the Duke gang-rape case, etc. Despite its pornographic content, Generation S.L.U.T. is fundamentally a socially conservative book, and Beckerman’s a Robert Bork for the MTV era. Marty shows us the emotional and physical wreckage wrought by the serial betrayals of the “hook-up” age among kids with too much privilege and not enough supervision.

Yes! McCain knows young people like we know the back of his hand. Wait?

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Marty Beckerman, some guy who lives in NYC, has made an appearance on FOX News’ Red Eye program. Yes, first he leaves DC, now he’s appearing on Red Eye. How long ’til he stars appearing on Julia Allison!?

Earlier: The FINAL Tuesdays w/ Marty: He Left Us

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Ask Marty Beckerman some questions, and you’ll get answers, too:  Read more…

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This week we check in with a blogless Marty Beckerman!

BHR: Sooooo…what did you think of the Michael Musto bash?

MB: As you know, Rob, I attend parties with gays, trannies, and male prostitutes all the time; out of all those parties, yours was easily the best. And the worst.

BHR: Tell me about it! Your high/low points?

MB: High point: the open bar. Low point: speaking to you.

BHR: Shuddup. I’m nice. I see you shut down your blog last week — what’s up with that?

MB: I was putting too much time into it, which distracted me from bigger (for example, money-making) projects, plus I’ve recently come to realize that I’m too young to have a solidified political worldview. Too many of my opinions have shifted in the last few years — from left to right and then back to the center. It’s strange to distrust your own convictions because you’ve been wrong before; it’s like this one time, late at night, I was flipping through TV channels — this was New York cable after midnight, so anything goes — and came upon an attractive redheaded woman fondling her own naked breasts. Naturally I began to “relax,” if you know what I mean, when suddenly the camera panned down to the redheaded woman’s erect penis. How do you trust your instincts after an experience like that? How do you let your guard down? How do you stop asking what if I’m wrong?

Anyway, I might start the blog again soon with less of an emphasis on politics, and more of an emphasis on the tranny parties that I’m attending these days thanks to you.

BHR: Can you continue doing Tuesdays with Marty?

MB: As long as I shall live.

BHR: Do you want a casket cam when you die?

MB: So my family can watch in horror as the maggots devour my intestines and burrow deep into my eye sockets?

Yes. Absolutely.

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Just because he wrote a book called Generation SLUT doesn’t mean that Marty Beckerman isn’t thoughtful about female issues. Behold:

BHR: What do you think about the pics (and related stuff) Big Head DC posted yesterday involving Catholic University student turned American Idol star Antonella Barba?

MB: I think that I just busted a nut. Yes, I’m pretty sure — that’s a busted nut.

BHR: Um, nice. But should she be kicked out of Catholic University?

MB: Kicked out of CU and then rammed in the CU-NT.

BHR: Should she be kicked off Idol?

MB: Only if all the cocksucking fucks up her vocal cords.

BHR: Do you feel differently about Antonella’s situation than that of Frenchie Davis?

MB: Who is Frenchie Davis? Does she suck dick too? Spit or swallow?

BHR: Her pic is to the right. I think she swallows. Lastly, do you think there will be any drag queens at the Michael Musto party?

MB: Why? Are you wearing a dress again?

BHR: We’ll see…

Related: Antonella Barba’s Alleged BJ Pics; The Sexy Side of the WWII Memorial; Catholic University’s Support for Antonella Barba; Antonella Barba’s Homemade Catholic University Calendar; Another Antonella Barba Secret; Do You Pinky Promise Not to Frolic in the WWII Memorial?; Barba Not Expected to be Expelled from Catholic U — Yet

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In this week’s installment, Marty Beckerman answers the eternal question, “Why do fools fall in love?”

BHR: Wow, your pal Ned Vizzini was all over Gawker last week. I’m not surprised he’s getting covered, but I am surprised it took them this long to speculate about his sex life. How’s he doing?

MB: You’re reading too much into it. Ned listed professional duties for the position; it was nothing salacious. I never understood the snark culture of Gawker and Radar. “Fuck you” makes sense to me but not “gotcha.” Why do sophisticated, urbane New Yorkers read the same trash gossip as trailer park dwellers anyway?

Anyway, Ned’s doing well, I think. We had a few drinks together a month ago. He’s finishing a new novel. Read the latest at http://rocketsinthenight.blogspot.com/

BHR: Is it too trailer trashish of me for missing Anna Nicole Smith?

MB: Well, considering that you’re her baby daddy….

BHR: Speaking of trailer trash, why did Britney shave her head? Really, why?

MB: She wanted to perform a reverse hair transplant. Her “lady region” felt cold in the winter without pubes. The doctors need a lot of donor material from the scalp.

BHR: Speaking again of trailer trash, what did you do this past weekend?

MB: Friday night: drank at party. Saturday night: drank at friend’s house. Sunday night: drank at Irish pub. Getting back into whiskey after a month-long vodka kick. It has so much more character. Kind of like me compared to you.

BHR: I just don’t get your jokes, Marty. I’m gonna be reading up on the Iliad in preparation for next week’s banter.

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