What’s worse than dressing your dogs up in clothes? Making them work for food. That’s just what the First Family is doing to their poor Scottish Terriers Barney and Miss Beazley, as illustrated by the below evidence, which we’ve pieced together from some suspicious “holiday” video released today by the White House.

George W. Bush, Laura Bush, Jenna Bush, Barbara Bush and several high-ranking government officials are accomplices. Dear Lord, what is next!!?? Somebody please help these pooches. Please. Help. It’s the Christmas season, for God’s sake.

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Facing another major embarrassment, the White House is working overtime to make it appear that 16-year-old Vífill Atlason did not decipher President George W. Bush’s secret phone number after Jenna Bush called her dad during a recent taping of the Ellen show.

In fact, in an effort to cover-up the story, White House spokeswoman Emily Lawrimore lied to ABC News, saying that that the Icelandic teen did not dial the private number but instead dialed 202-456-1414, the main switchboard for the West Wing.

“But that was not the case,” according to the report. “The student gave ABC News the number. It is indeed an extention off the White House switchboard and goes to a security command post office in the building next door to the White House.”

Atlason’s mother has expressed surprise that the White House would carry out a defamation plot against her son, but Atlason himself is taking the situation in stride.

“If the number were not top secret, why would the police have told me that I will be put on a no-fly list to America?” Vífill asked. “I don’t see how calling the White House is a crime. But obviously, they took it very seriously.”

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An Icelandic teen, MSNBC reports, figured out President Bush’s private phone number, and called it recently, leaving a message saying he was the president of Iceland and wanted Bush to call him back. When police visited the teen, after being alerted by Secret Service, he would not say how he learned the top-secret number. Big Head DC is speculating that he somehow deciphered the code from when Jenna Bush called her parents during a recent taping of the Ellen show.

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But how much do you wanna bet that Jenna Bush got a stern talking to and a slap upside the head when she got home?

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People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is considering Jenna Bush as their next “Sexiest Vegetarian Celebrity.” Washington Whispers reports that Ingrid Newkirk, president of the activist group, “made the offer in a letter to the first twin after Jenna told Texas Monthly that she shuns meat—and scoffed at reports she indulges in fois gras.”

“Good for you!” Newkirk wrote to Jenna in a letter provided to Whispers. “If you decide to go completely vegetarian by giving fish a break, we’d be delighted to nominate you for our hugely popular Sexiest Vegetarian Celebrity contest.” (Jenna reportedly loves Filet-O-Fish sandwiches.)

In case you forgot, cousin Lauren Bush won the award in 2003.

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