So, apparently, sparrows are taking up residence in the salad bar sections of several local Whole Foods, and the stores’ managers don’t give a damn whether bird droppings, feathers or even Avian Flu get into our food.

“This is Pepe,” explains a local blogger regarding the above pic. “He lives in the salad bar at the Whole Foods in Tenleytown.

“No, I didn’t choose his name; you can thank the Whole Foods managers for that. When my friend complained about a bird in the pasta salad, the manager replied, ‘Oh, that’s just Pepe. We’ve been trying to catch him for weeks.’”

A commenter then added this delicious musing:

“There also is a bird living in the Old Town Alexandria Whole Foods but I don’t know if the staff named that one.”

Yum.

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OK, so that’s a salacious headline. You got us. But a tipster has us all in a tizzy because we didn’t have time yesterday to mention that a human head and body were found at a 7-11 and at Catholic University (same diff). Mind you, we’re not even gonna mention Antonella Barba and head in the same sentence. We’re classy that way. 

But, yes, it’s true, a severed head and body were found in the District.

“The head was upside down so all I saw was the bill, which had a red trim,” some guy told some newspaper yesterday. “We could see just two wisdom teeth, everything else was gone, just some dry skin on the skull.”

That’s just gross. But it’s nothing to lose your head about.

(But if you have literally lost your head, please contact the city police.)

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