The rumor has taken off like wildfire that political writer Christopher Hitchens has quit smoking. Not true, a source close to the portly author tells Big Head DC. “He was seen smoking this week, in fact,” says the pal.

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Forget interesting political insights. Christopher Hitchens has finally explained what it feels like to get waxed down there:

I had no idea it would be so excruciating. The combined effect was like being tortured for information that you do not possess, with intervals for a (incidentally very costly) sandpaper handjob. The thing is that, in order to rip, you have to grip. A point of leverage is required; a place that can be firmly gripped and pulled while the skin is tautened.

The impression of being a huge baby was enhanced by the blizzards of talcum powder that followed each searing application. I swear that several times [J Sister waxer Janea Padilha] soothingly said that I was being a brave little boy… Meanwhile, everything in the general area was fighting to retract itself into my body… Read more…

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You can probably expect some more nude magazine spreads from political writer Chris Hitchens in the near future. The NY Post reports that he just had all his pubic hair ripped off, as part of research for a three-part series in Vanity Fair on self-improvement. He “visited the J Sisters on Friday for a full male Brazilian bikini wax, which his editor-in-chief Graydon Carter gleefully described four months ago as ‘the back, the crack and the sack,’” according to the article, which also indicated Hitchens has done this sort of thing before — presumably for fun.

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Earlier: Another Look @ Catherine Andrews: Hot OR Not?

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The conservative blogger told The New York Observer not to use Aaron Tone’s name after Aaron chatted a reporter up at a recent party at Christopher Hitchen’s house. But why? Can’t Aaron think for himself?

MORE: Andrew Sullivan’s Lover is a Michigan Drama Queen!; Aaron Tone’s Blogroll: Madonna, Andrew Sullivan, Matt Drudge; Andrew Sullivan’s Lover Makes Art (But is That Andrew’s Butt???); Why Trust The New York Observer When You’ve Got The Reliable Source?; Andrew Sullivan’s Pocket Gay Revealed?; Will Andrew Sullivan’s Secret Eric Please Stand Up?

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From The New York Observer:

Later that night, at the Vanity Fair party held at Christopher Hitchens’ house, The Transom pried loose a few wedding details from Mr. Sullivan’s fiancé, Eric, an actor (last name withheld at Mr. Sullivan’s request): It’s going to be a small affair, mostly family, to take place in Provincetown, Mass.

“We haven’t done much yet to prepare,” said Eric, who is currently starring in the Studio Theatre production of The Pillowman. “We’ve rented the house where we’re going to have it–that’s about it. It’s on the beach.”

MORE: Andrew Sullivan’s Lover is a Michigan Drama Queen!; Aaron Tone’s Blogroll: Madonna, Andrew Sullivan, Matt Drudge; Andrew Sullivan’s Lover Makes Art (But is That Andrew’s Butt???); Why Trust The New York Observer When You’ve Got The Reliable Source?; Andrew Sullivan’s Pocket Gay Revealed?; Will Andrew Sullivan’s Secret Eric Please Stand Up?

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DC Bachelor (aka Roosh V) gives up being a bachelor by trading in his domain name less than one week after heralding his site’s apparently amazing traffic. Um, why mess with a brand name? Could you imagine if Oprah suddenly started calling herself Snacks McGee? It’d be weird. Might this move signify another change in Roosh’s life?

KassyK writes in a recent entry, ”If you know me, you know that I am the most friendly, open person you may EVER met so don’t you DARE call ME cliquey.” OK, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? Who called her cliquey? Was it one of her old sorority sisters? Or one of her regular commenters who always tell her how great she is and then asks her if she wants to go partying? Really, though, how does she even have time to think about being in a clique when she’s out with the same peeps night after night?

Kathryn goes on and on today about her fridge (insert your own jokes here). Tries to buddy up with Jessica Cutler. Bet Mama Kathryn would be proud.

Someone recently called Ashburnite a “train wreck,” says she.  In her defense, she writes, “I have ADD, OCD, and Acute Social Anxiety. I have panic attacks. I am an emotional masochist. I date people who I know will hurt me. I sabotage any chance that I may have of happiness…”

Last week, Patrick Gavin couldn’t stop quoting Christopher Hitchens. This week, Wonkette becomes obsessed anew. Why? Dear God, why?

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Stop us if you’ve heard this one before. Patrick Gavin, of FishbowlDC, today links to an old New Yorker profile of Christopher Hitchens countless more times. He’s got to be doing this as some sort of grand meta-joke, right? Hopefully the punchline will be soon revealed. Meanwhile, a record number of posts from Inky today: Zero.

DC Bachelor spends the day plotting revenge against BHR for linking to his YouTube video yesterday, which he, himself, posted on the Internet in the first place. Insiders say that he revels when shining the unflattering spotlight on others (remember the Illuminati!?), but hates it when given equal treatment. Somewhere in this fair city, a proud DCist-affiliate is laughing and drinking a savory box of wine. (Owned?)

Kathryn scribbles another lengthy, boring item, this time about…blah, blah, blah…you get the point by now. For some odd reason, she makes a vow to post today “at least every hour.” Fails. Miserably. Tsk, tsk. Martha Stewart says that promises should always be kept. A lady like Kathryn should definitely know that secret by now, especially as she begins to settle into her thirties. No?

Gavin makes the list again today for incorrectly linking the scoop on Laura Session Stepp’s new book to DCist when, in fact, the Tiny Movements blog deserves the credit. Is that how he was taught to source at the Examiner, or wherever he was a journalist before he landed at the Examiner? We, of course, attributed correctly. 

Wonkette’s Alex Pareene links directly to a Gawker media sister site, Defamer, for the second time in less than a day and to Deadspin once thus far. When you click the link for these posts, you end up at Defamer/Deadspin, which, stats say, are both already much more popular destinations than Wonkette (which just might be why those properties had the political scoops in the first place). We always thought that cross-promotion was supposed to help the ailing party, not the other way around.

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Answering our last question, FishbowlDC’s Patrick Gavin proves that you can, in fact, beat a dead horse to death. Yes, he’s currently on round 738 of posting parts of the New Yorker’s old Hitchens piece — and still going strong, we think. Where’s Inky?

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