Men who wanted to grow up to be ball boys must run most cable newsrooms in the country. How else can one explain the never-ending coverage of Congressional hearings into whether Roger Clemens had steroids and HGH injected into his ass at some point in his career? The fact that so many (male) members of Congress have already spent years thinking about Clemens’ ass is bad enough, but now the media seems to think regular news viewers give a damn. If politicians can smoke marijuana and do cocaine without receiving any scrutiny nowadays, why, exactly, is this a story?

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“British supermodel Naomi Campbell has interviewed Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez, describing him as a ‘rebel angel’ who is unafraid to speak his mind but poses no threat to democracy,” reports the AFP. “Campbell was granted an audience with the outspoken left-wing leader as part of her new brief as contributing editor for British men’s lifestyle magazine GQ, interviewing leading figures from politics, sport and entertainment.”

In the wide-ranging interview, Chavez told Campbell that Fidel Castro is the world’s most stylish leader. “His uniform is impeccable,” Chavez said. ”His boots are polished. His beard is elegant.”

Chavez also added that he thinks President George W. Bush wants to kill him, and that he’s aware of the upcoming Spice Girls reunion.

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Quoted directly from the Associated Press — yes, this apparently counts as important news, as the war in Iraq rages on:

Hold the sugar.

Presidential candidates who drink coffee prefer artificial sweetener or no sweetener, for the most part.

AP asked candidates a series of questions about their personal side. Today’s question is about what they take in their coffee. The answers:

DEMOCRATS:

New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: Sometimes black, sometimes with cream

Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards: Doesn’t drink it

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama: Black, but rarely drinks it

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: Cream

REPUBLICANS:

Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani: Splenda, Sweet’n Low or Equal, whichever is available

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee: Splenda

Arizona Sen. John McCain: Cappuccino or coffee with cream and sugar

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney: Doesn’t drink it, has been known to have hot chocolate

Former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson: Cream

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It’s election season, so pollster John Zogby is spewing his junk to anyone who will listen. “Iowa matters,” he tells U.S. News without a hint of sarcasm, “more this year than ever before.”

His words, not surprisingly, coincide with a new Zogby poll that shows Mitt Romney and Hillary Clinton leading Iowa.
“He has to win Iowa,” Zogby said regarding Romney. “I don’t know how you spin a third,” he added regarding a hypothetical third place finish for Hillary.

But does anyone remember back in 2004 when Zogby’s election polls showed a comfortable win for John Kerry — even as Election Day was well under way? “Bush had this election lost a long time ago,” Zogby said at the time, predicting that voters would vote for “any candidate who was not Bush.”

Despite later saying he would altogether stop his predicting, it seems his new statements have undone that promise.

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Our question: Who cares? Do you know how many negative smear e-mails politicians pass along in Washington everyday? To anyone who thinks this matters: Get off your high horse.

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We’ve come to expect these kinds of bullshit headlines from those drunken CNN writers, but now even search engine news aggregators feel the need to be cute:

This is an election for President of the United States, folks! Lives depend on this election. This is not an episode of Oprah’s favorite things, nor another rerun of Walker, Texas Ranger. Get your heads out of your asses.

Earlier: CNN’s Candy Crowley Gave Bush the Flu; She Also Thinks Dennis Kucinich Is Ugly

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Remember back when the David Phillips story broke about his prior relationship with Larry Craig, and we asked you to help us figure out the name of the anonymous blogger who broke that story? Until then, said blogger had always gone by the pen name “Princess Sparkle Pony.” Well. After our commenters started speculating, the blogger wrote in and confirmed what we were already piecing together. Princess Sparkle Pony is a gay man named Peter Huestis who works at the National Gallery of Art in its photo labs.

“I’m not a journalist…,” he told us defensively. “I don’t know my way around a Washington scandal.”

Right, we totally got that. But we thought all was said and done until today when a Princess Sparkle Pony (just a coincidence?) started commenting about us on Mike Rogers‘ newly controversial item involving Mike Jones and Sen. Larry Craig: Read more…

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The hubris coming from Patrick Gavin, FishbowlDC’s editor, is alarming.

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Congress is buzzing after a cafeteria worker in the Capitol building lost his job just days after Rep. Mark Souder (R-Ind.) exited the restaurant in a huff because his sandwich was grilled, not toasted. The Hill newspaper reports that the worker, Kennison Battle, better known as “Mohammed,” was fired this week following the Souder incident.

“It’s ridiculous,” House Administration Committee Chairman Robert Brady told the paper after the incident. “Big guys gotta bother the little guys? What the hell is the matter with them? I don’t think he deserved to get fired. … It’s a shame.”

Brady - who has jurisdiction over Capitol Hill campus issues - is now trying to get Battle his old job back.

The Hill first reported on the Souder café incident on Tuesday. Earlier this week, Souder spokesman Martin Green told the publication via e-mail: “Mr. Souder was asked for - and gave - his order three times. After around 20 minutes, he was still waiting, so he canceled the order and walked out so as to get to his next meeting on time.”

Battle is known to be well liked on Capitol Hill.

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Michael Grass, an editor with the Washington Post Express, almost immediately responded to our post about the gay fitness blogger who wondered why his posts always get selected to be in the paper’s “blog log” section. We intimated that Grass might have had something to do with it, since, well, he’s the big cheese online editor over there. But that is not true!

“For the record,” Grass writes, “I wasn’t working on Sunday, therefore, I’m not responsible for the Vividblurry quote. There are multiple people at Express who put Blog Log together. Check your facts.”

Noted! Mike Grass does not like Vivid Blurry! Vivid Blurry is evil! Mike Grass would never think to link to Vivid Blurry!

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