
Infamous antiwar activist Cindy Sheehan has officially kicked off her campaign to unseat House Speaker Nancy Pelosi with the opening of her campaign headquarters in San Francisco. In the spirit of the season, we have some friendly advice for her. Has she heard of Spanx? They would totally do wonders for her campaign.

If she impeaches Bush-Cheney and/or ends the war, I don’t care if she looks like the fat girl in Hairspray, whatever her name was.
Ricki Lake or the other one?
The other one– that’s why I don’t know her name. Nancy Pelosi is more trim and stylish than Cindy Sheehan, but unfortunately has amnesia about why the Democrats, including her, won the majority in congress last year. Hint: starts with I, ends in Q.
Her name is Nikki Blonsky. Isn’t is funny how her first name rhymes with Ricki? Speaking of Ricki, she’s lost a lot of weight recently and looks happier than ever. Regarding Cindy, I don’t know if she’s happy. Pelosi, I do know, likes fancy scarves.
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