The writer some of you know as the DCeiver (aka Jason Linkins) explains that he’s developed crushes on a few of his acquaintances, including Ryan Avent, Amy Argetsinger and Rachel Sklar. (The latter two “make for a thinking, drinking pair of media titans I refer to simply as SKLARGETSINGER,” he says).

But there’s a lot more psycho-babble going on behind Linkins’ fantasy-filled eyes than he lets on. For one, Avent used to be his editor when they both worked at DCist. For two, Argetsinger recently wrote up an item that was flattering to Linkins. And for three, Sklar is now one of his bosses/pals over at The Huffington Post.

So, all you have to do to get some of that now famous Linkins love: Get him to work for you, or write something gushy about him, and he’s bound to find you fabulous. After penning this drivel, we can’t wait to receive a pretty bouquet from Linkins — hopefully later today!