Sources are telling Big Head DC that Sen. David Vitter has returned after a week-long absence from Washington. And he’s wearing sunglasses.

Few, it seems, are rejoicing.

Said one observer upon the announcement of Vitter’s emergence from seclusion: “What the fuck is he — Garbo? This phony can go to hell. Seclusion, my ass. He’d probably send the Average Joe to jail for doing what he did. Notice he’s not offering himself up to any officers of the law to turn himself in for breaking the law. Now he’s asking for ‘forvigeness.’ You don’t get forgiveness without some sort of penance, right? Meanwhile his wife says: ‘To forgive is not always the easy choice, but it was and is the right choice for me.’ Glad to know the wife of a Republican is pro choice, if even in her own perverse way!”