The lady’s famous for two things: birthing Tori Spelling and marrying the guy who created Dream Boat. Oh, and lately she’s taken to writing cautionary notes addressed to celebrities, including Paris Hilton, at TMZ.com regarding the tragic excesses of fame. So, logically, Arianna Huffington, owner of The Huffington Post, decided that the oh-so-unsweet Candy Spelling would be a perfect candidate for, you guessed it, political blogging!

We can just see her cautionary political notes now:

Dear Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff,

You made me do it. I didn’t plan to write another letter now. I took a few weeks off because I didn’t feel strongly about what anyone was doing — or else I couldn’t decide which side to believe.

You’ve driven me back to my laptop to ask why, if you have to feel uneasy about impending terror, while looking like Jafar from Aladdin and wearing what little hair you have in a way that’s just plain unflattering, do you have to talk to Congress all the time? You’re wearing out your welcome. Some people never can turn away from a train wreck, so who can blame The New York Times for waiting for your next one? Do you really want to keep getting headlines such as “Chertoff Tired of Scaring Immigrants, Wants to Scare Everybody” to be your legacy? You can do much better.

Unlike some others who are famous for being famous, you initially earned the fame and respect you achieved. You were a giant star, a judge on the United States Court of Appeals, as a federal prosecutor, and as assistant U.S. Attorney General. Later, you made some missteps. We all do. But, when you become more famous for expressing your hunches than for your accomplishments, it’s time to step back and figure out where you want your life to go.

Enough with the sorry grabs for attention. Deep down, especially for your two children, people want you to succeed. You can always get attention if you need it. Visit someone famous at Guantanamo and attract a zillion photographers if you’re that addicted to fame. Americans like winners. We like those stories about what people do with second chances. How about a moratorium on ”gut feelings” and some time out for paying back the White House that has helped you succeed?

Best,

Candy Spelling

Earlier: Actor Ryan Reynolds Becomes Political Blogger for Huffington Post