In a show of true journalistic commitment, the Washington Post, home of Woodward and Berstein, sent OFF/Beat blogger Emil Steiner on assignment today to cover day one of the civil trial of D.C. administrative law judge Roy L. Pearson who is suing local dry cleaning business Custom Cleaners for $54 million. Why is he doing such a thing? Because they lost his pants.

Highlights from the trial:

“Pearson showed up at 9:15 wearing a well-pressed blue pinstripe suit and purple tie.” With matching pants, mind you.

“Although the defense, the judge and even Pearson seem to agree that this claim is not about the pants but about a misleading sign, Pearson still wants to present evidence about the pants.”

“Throughout the opening statements, the judge had a subtle smile.” Our smile would not have been so subtle.

“Pearson’s fourth witness, Grace Hewell, was the most entertaining thus far. The 89-year-old wheelchair-bound veteran of WWII entered amid concerns that the room was not wheelchair-accessible. Instead of the witness chair, she was placed next to Pearson. When asked if she would tell the truth during her oath, she asked the court officer to please speak up, explaining she doesn’t hear well in her left ear. She then briefly recounted how and when she lost her hearing.” Maybe she has some pants lint in her ears?

“For his sixth witness, Pearson called his son, a caterer. He testified that when he first started in the food-service industry, he didn’t have enough money to buy a suit, so he often “shopped” in his father’s closet, borrowing suits as necessary.” And there were always matching pants!

“[J]ust before 3:30, Roy L. Pearson broke down, appeared to almost cry, and quickly requested a break. Would it be heartless to ask whether he had been bored to tears?” We know just how he feels. We once woke up without our pants!

“Pulling himself together, Pearson continued with his exhaustive description of how he - or, in his telling, Custom Cleaners - lost his pants.”

Final arguments have yet to be heard, but we’re guessing Pearson wins in a landslide.