Rob, we love the DC Blogger gossip. When are you going to post about this underground war between Wonkette’s newest subject - Lmntal Attraction and I Now Pronounce You? Weren’t they Happy Hour hosts a couple weeks ago? Now they have delinked each other and are not hosting together. Come on, investigate! We want answers!

Hmm - Why the hate?

Masked Blogger is Lmntal. He delinked me, so that automatically makes him a Beta by my standards. Men who are Betas also go down on women, unlike an Alpha like me. I have admitted I will never go down on a woman. They don’t deserve it. Therefore, I conclude that lmntal thinks women deserve oral sex and that makes him a Beta. Simple.

I will now eliminate him from the community as I have been known to do in the past to other bloggers for his delinkage. Owned.

I can’t stand any of those creampuffs. Lmntal has some recipe he uses in his posts that includes a lot of words like darlin’ and ‘course. Is he some sort of cowboy? How long before it takes him to “reckon” something and order up the “sweet tea?” The rest of them are all overusing the English expressions like “spot on.” It’s so over. DC Blogs have jumped the shark.

No, Roosh is Roosh. Masked Blogger is Lmntal. Are you paying attention?

It’s my second day of my third month sharing a bedroom with my little brother, I think. I mean I don’t have my watch or my Blueberry so I’ve kind of sort of lost track as to how long I’ve been here. When they woke me up for something called “breakfast’ it was dark outside. What time does the sun come up anyway? Like I have totally no idea. I usually get up around 4:00 in the afternoon so I can play with VK and also I like to watch the Oprah show with the sound off so I can make up funny voices for everyone. I usually save the voice I call “Mrs. Goofy” for Oprah.

I ordered eggs benedict, two slices of crisp, dry (it better be dry!) bacon, hot coffee and Splenda (which I love to eat right from the pack!). Instead, “Steve” brought me bread, jews and something called cereal. I was scared of it at first (it made me cry) but then I took a teeny, tiny taste…and it was good! It tasted just like INPY’s binge candy. Steve kissed me good morning, again, fully on the lips and she told me that I tasted like the peach cobbler that comes with Hungry Man dinners. Everyone is SO nice in DC. Also I’ve noticed that there are A LOT of Lawnpeople Americans here…you know like the people who do our gardening and stuff.

Oh…someone is coming…I have to hide! But where??? They can see me under the table!! Okay…think…think…The bed! Perfect!
“Something More o’clock”

Note to myself: when you hide, try hiding UNDER the bed. Just hiding under the covers makes you too easy to find.

Also I’m getting lots of ideas for inventions and stuff:
Idea: Invent red wine and coffee that can whiten your teeth!

We love you too Rob! Come on, let’s go with the blogger snafus already, you have enough dirt. This practically writes itself!

Bring it, baby!

What happened to the countdown?

DC Blogger lmntal attraction now deleting all negative comments on his hokey site.