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Tuesday March 13th, 2007 12:02 PM by Amanda Woodward  
Filed under: Gaze About Town

amanda111.jpgHey babydolls, Amanda is back and bitchier than ever!

Well, let me start by relaying that Daylight Savings Time has really done a number on Amanda’s sleep schedule. Amanda strictly abides by Sophia Loren’s 8-hour sleep rule. Sophia has long told her followers and friends (Amanda is one of her close, personal friends) that the secret to her beauty success is getting eight solid hours of sleep each and every night. You hear that, baby dolls? Eight solid hours! There are hags out there like Madonna who look like dried up dill pickles. It’s because those workaholics squeeze by with only 6 hours of sleep that they look so bad. YUCK! Without the makeup and special lighting, Madonna has the visual appeal of a chewed up prune. Trust me, I’ve seen her up close several times. Amanda Woodward is not interested in looking like that crack whore, Madonna. I require sleep, damn it!

Now, I want to address some hate comments that have been left right here on Big Head DC in response to my posts. Some of you mocked me because I take Jet Blue. Others of you laugh because I’m a Real Deal Diva and the true blue Princess Sparklepony. Well, haters, I have only one thing to say to you: “Eat. A. Dick.” Got it? By the way, Big Head Rob sends me the IP address of every hater comment. I send the IPs to our IT department here at Corporate Headquarters, and they know who you are, where you work, and where you live. Have you ever heard of the Gay Mafia? It really exists. Don’t be surprised if a beefcake packing heat shows up at your door one day soon.

Speaking of beefcakes who pack heat, Amanda got a some laughs this week out of the minor scandal that was Matt Sanchez. Matt is the conservative darling and friend of Ann Coulter (tranny!) who was revealed to be a gay porn star. Duh! I once financed a film starring Matt. He ate me out for three hours in exchange for the role. He wasn’t, by the way, very good (at either).

Finally, Amanda is very happy that Spring is finally beginning to “pop.” Amanda looks forward to long spring and summer nights of cruising Dupont and, eventually, sunning in Sag Harbor. Kiss!!!!

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  1. 7 Comments to 'Gaze About Town: Amanda’s Late, But Not Preggers'


  1. 1. Some Comments said:


    “they know who you are, where you work, and where you live”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wow. Classic. This is so amazingly foolish that it boggles the mind. You must be a stand-up CEO.

    posted March 13th, 2007 at 2:14 pm | Quote

  1. 2. Tart said:


    Shut up “some comments.” Leave Amanda alone you two faced twit. She taught us more about fashion and culture than you ever have hiding behind your anonymous tag.

    Hi Robbie!!!!!

    posted March 13th, 2007 at 2:29 pm | Quote

  1. 3. The Senator said:


    Amanda’s writing style seems familiar. Just an honest assessment.

    posted March 13th, 2007 at 3:06 pm | Quote

  1. 4. Some Comments said:


    Careful there, Senator. She might track your IP address, find out who you are and where you live. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That’s gold.

    posted March 13th, 2007 at 3:08 pm | Quote

  1. 5. Tart said:


    Well hellllloooooo Senator. It’s been a long time for you and I, hasn’t it? Don’t talk of other women sounding familiar, it reminds me just how many places you’ve put your penis, then I get grossed out.

    posted March 13th, 2007 at 3:11 pm | Quote

  1. 6. The Senator said:


    That isn’t very nice, or accurate for that matter. I guess we can only expect a “tart” response.

    posted March 13th, 2007 at 9:08 pm | Quote

  1. 7. Some Comments said:


    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Just read this again, and the level of ridiculousness still amuses me. BHR must be getting a little nervous now that TMZ is setting up shop here. Not that this site ever went anywhere, though.

    posted March 14th, 2007 at 10:09 am | Quote

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