Hi babies, Amanda Woodward is back and better than ever! What a two weeks the last two weeks have been. It’s been a wild and crazy time, utterly wonderful, and totally Amanda Woodward! Yes, it’s great being me, the real, original, and only Princess Sparklepony!

Well, let me start with two weekends ago. I was in South Beach, fending off the droves of fans (who’d first learned of me here on BHDC), and working on my late-winter tan. Carlos and Juan were there with me, beach side and poolside, applying coconut oil in all the right places. And let me tell you, when I took them back to my hotel room, the party was just getting started! OK?

My hotel was, of course, The Hotel of South Beach. Todd Oldham designed the interior of this swank, happening and totally Amanda Woodward hotel. Hot Toddy, as I like to call T. Oldham, designed it back when he was a real “it” designer. This was, of course, before he began making his line of junk for the the designer armpit known as “Target.”

The highlight of my stay in South Beach was the Oscar party at Ingrid Casares’ mansion. The party was a real Who’s Who of the rich, famous, and beautiful. Is there any wonder why I was there? I’m a rich and powerful Washington, DC, Corporate CEO Gay Male. Of course I was there! I nearly spilled a martini on that hag Donatella V. at Ingrid’s party, but we WON’T go down that little memory lane. Donatella V. can be a real bitch when she gets a little ‘tini spilled on her Eurotrash rags. Oh well.

Another highlight of my South Beach escapade was, as it always is when I visit South Beach, a long coke-filled night at the Social at Sagamore. If you want a great dinner in a real scene, you absolutely must, must, must do the Social at Sagamore when in South Beach. One day Washington will figure out what it’s like to be cutting edge. Or maybe it won’t. Maybe Amanda Woodward likes DC stuffy so she can enjoy places like Social all the more when out of town. Maybe.

If South Beach was a beautiful blast, the trip home certainly wasn’t. For whatever stupid reason, the hideous Jet Blue airline cancelled Amanda Woodward’s flight home on Monday. The nerve! Amanda’s martini-soaked ass had to hem and haw up and down the Miami airport for nearly four hours before finally finding a flight home on a rival airline. I missed several very important meetings thanks to Jet Blue. I’m a very important, high-powered Corporate CEO, honies! Don’t mess with my flight schedule. For future references, I’d sooner get on a flying toilet bowl than ever take Jet Blue again!

Count your lucky stars that I’m now back in ALL my glory!!!! On a sad note, I had a day trip to Boston that kept me from reuniting with Michael Musto at the BHDC bash. I’m a Washington All-Star, and I should have been there! Well, my heart was with you babies, and the photos tell me the party was a real hot hoot!

Until next week babies. If you don’t like it, you can kiss it!

Stay tuned every Monday for Amanda’s latest dirty dish.