First, Russian President Vladimir Putin was caught on camera snuggling a young lad little too closely. Now, he’s getting a little too close for comfort with his own pet pooch. 

“As far as bad moods go, of course I have them like any other person, but in those cases I try to consult with my dog Koni,” he told reporters last week regarding questions about his leadership. ”She gives me good advice.”

Yes, the leader of the country with the most nuclear missiles pointed our way is really no different than Son of Sam. Plus, he named his dog Koni, which is obviously some codeword intended to signal that terrorists should unleash hell on America.