If you’re not familiar with Absolute Addiction, they’re a national club promotion company that does a lot of great publicity in Washington. They always e-mail me the latest tips on when and where I should be seen about the town.

Well, when I got their message this week, I had to do a double take. The same week that Lindsay Lohan enters rehab, they send me a pic of a girl who looks exactly like her with the word “addiction” plastered over her head. I immediately thought that I had missed Firecrotch in person at Lima, Posh or kstreet. Upon further inspection, though, I realized that, alas, it was just a look alike:

No, Ms. Mean Girl will never visit our fair city. Until she’s sober, that is, and promoting some political cause once she’s well into her Botox years.