Hi, kids, I’m Big Head Rob, your always happy Big Head DC editor, and I’m befittingly happy to let you know that esteemed DC sex journalist Marty Beckerman has agreed to once again indulge me by collaborating on a regular feature that will run on Tuesdays. (Except for Tuesdays when Marty’s celebrating one of his Jewish holidays, of course.)
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You may recall the wildly popular Tuesdays with Marty series from BHR where I would ask him a bunch of questions, and he’d spew a lot of crap back regarding his struggles with “being gay.” This new version is much more of a conversation, since I currently don’t have to worry about being PC for the sake of holding a day job. This is my day job! Behold:
INBOX
To: Big Head Rob
From: Marty Beckerman
Date: Jan 22, 2007 12:43 AM
Subject: birthday party on tuesday
To my non-Facebook friends,
Sorry for the late notice on this; I forgot that people without Facebook accounts exist. Birthday party on Tuesday the 23rd. Split into two parts because some people have work/class, including my chick. …
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To: Marty Beckerman
From: Big Head Rob
Date: Jan 22, 2007 12:52 AM
Subject: RE: birthday party on tuesday
Fuck, I forgot about this and now I can’t come to any parts of your birthday. Thanks for the late invite. How old are you going to be anyway? Do you feel like this past year has been worth your efforts? My past year has been a strange roller coaster, but I don’t throw up on roller coasters, so I’m OK about it. I heard you were in NYC last week — what happened?
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To: Big Head Rob
From: Marty Beckerman
Date: Jan 22, 2007 12:56 AM
Subject: re: birthday party on tuesday
Wow, you closed BigHeadRob.com to open bigheadDC.com. You are a real fucking winner, dude. Thanks for ruining my birthday, by the way.
I’ll be 24. This last year was a bastard to me; my career shriveled and I stared poverty directly into the eyes. The good news is that it looks like I tentatively scored a new book deal and magazine cover story, so my bank account is saved. New York was great; I had a grand time and pissed off some militant lesbians. But I repeat myself.
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To: Marty Beckerman
From: Big Head Rob
Date: Jan 22, 2007 1:07 AM
Subject: RE: birthday party on tuesday
Dude, I had to give up writing Big Head Rob because I started working for something called the Politico (Google it). Men in starched shirts thought that Big Head Rob was too much of a liability, I guess. After only two months working there, they were driving me crazy. Hence, I resigned and came back with this new corporation (!), bigger and better.
Twenty-four!? Only 24 and crying about money. Cry to me when you’re 27 and you have to choose between having either a bottle of wine or supper. That’s when it gets tough. And people are sending me threats re: my blog, like telling me not to talk about certain things, or else. Did you get threatened in NYC? Have you have ever been threatened? Congrats on the book and mag cover, btw.
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To: Big Head Rob
From: Marty Beckerman
Date: Jan 22, 2007 1:10 AM
Subject: re: birthday party on tuesday
No threats, but this woman hated me.
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To: Marty Beckerman
From: Big Head Rob
Date: Jan 22, 2007 1:10 AM
Subject: re: birthday party on tuesday
Ha — she calls you “creepy curtain-closer Marty Beckerman,” but she likes Grant Stoddard (I have his latest on my kitchen counter right now), a guy who made a plaster cast of his own dick and then had a
girl stick it in him? Yet you’re the creepy one, and he’s the one she admires? How exactly does that work?
TO BE CONTINUED NEXT TUESDAY…
