In what should have been a festive weekend, an entourage of DC’s finest helped Kelly Ann Collins celebrate her delicious 29th birthday at some exclusive venues throughout the city. Big Head Rob planned media relations for the event, so we’re happy to report that even with Justin Timberlake appearing at the 9:30 club on the same evening, Ms. Collins’ own SexyBack pulled in hundreds of wannabes, onlookers and (in)famous invitees.

But all was not well in KAC-land. As we merrily sipped club soda and cranberry juice throughout the night, we couldn’t help but notice a dark cloud hanging over the once blossoming relationship of Collins and her beau, the ever-handsome Senator. They’d been dating since early this year, and we thought it would be only a matter of time before we would see little socialites and senators bobbing around her always high heels and his always whiter than white grin.

Our suspicions were confirmed with a note today from Collins announcing the end of an era that had glistened with the bright sparkle of Topaz just weeks ago.

“You will not be seeing The Senator and The Socialite out and about (together, anyway) … the deed is done,” she said. “The boy is cheesy and I’m lactose intolerant. Something had to be done to remedy the situation.”

The Senator also got in his digs, talking about the “immaturity” of certain individuals on and off throughout the birthday night.

Yes, it’s turned nasty, folks, and we feel as though our parents got divorced. We’re now left to wonder who’s going to work harder to make sure we love them best.