In John Kelly’s most recent column on Washington, he explains that he’s a “real” Washingtonian because he doesn’t think the city is a “gossipy little village of people all going to the same bars.” Plus, he watches Sue Palka. At first, I thought that his thesis meant that all the rest of us must be unreal, but then Kelly himself convinced me otherwise:

Maybe I’m out of place in Washington. I’m definitely out of place in “Washington.” I don’t go to bars to gossip. I go to bars to drink. I don’t know how to hobnob and have been invited to exactly one embassy party — and it was the Swiss Embassy… 

In retrospect, I think he’s right on the mark.